Leoni & Hess
“Valuable to a point beyond words”
Let me introduce you
Leoni and Hess started working with me in October 2021 and I feel honoured and privileged to say that our journey isn’t over yet!
I asked them if I could use them as a case study because they’re a couple who perfectly demonstrate the power of the work I do, even when things are already going well.
Or, in their own words…
They also perfectly fit the description of the kind of couples I support. Ones in a rut, with some niggles or going through life transitions. We’ve addressed them all!
THE BEGINNING
So what was their starting point at the Taster Session?
When they started working with me they felt like their relationship was no longer their top priority (as so many of us do). To the question, ‘To what extent do you agree to the statement: We take each other for granted’, Leoni scored 9 out of a maximum score of 10 (representing total agreement).
THE RUT
They knew they were struggling with how they spent their downtime together (see Hess' response to the greatest challenge they face as a couple).
THE Niggles
And then they alluded to something hindering their communication… When answering the question, ‘What obstacles do you see getting in the way of your Coupld Membership experience?’ one of them responded:
THE LIFE TRANSITIONS
I started working with them when one of them was in London and the other in Melbourne, navigating long distance. Then they were reunited and moved homes. Then there was the wedding. And finally, becoming parents to their adorable son, Kaspar. They were even guinea-pigs for my Pre-baby Relationship Bootcamp course content!
THE JOURNEY
So that’s where they started. But how did it go?!
Well firstly, just by working with me, they started putting the time and effort into giving their relationship the attention it deserves.
They signed up to my monthly Secret Missions service, surprising each other with treats (cheese & t-shirts to name a few!), hidden love notes, a poem, making a playlist, cooking and giving celebratory toasts, recording a week of gratitudes on voicenotes, recommending podcasts and more!
And as for the niggles. Their empathy and understanding of each other’s differences grew.
They support one another to pursue the things that light them up, without feeling the need to always participant themselves. And they ritualised and claimed their shared interests, making them feel extra meaningful.
But the biggest transformation I saw was in how they communicate.
They moved from being hesitant to express their needs, in fear of how it would impact the other, to prefacing difficult conversations with understanding - allowing them to be direct, relinquishing themselves from the traps of mind-reading and repairing effectively if ever it goes awry.
They are now incredible communicators.
They have the awareness, they have the tools and they can course-correct in real time. And I’m so humbled to be able to say that all their initial aspirations for working with me have been met (and then some!):
THE (almost) ENDing
So all that’s left is to hear from them!
Psssttt!
It’s not really the end, because now I see them for Quarterly Check-ins and I’ll hopefully have them in my latest service supporting parents in the early years post-baby soon too. Yay!
Now, you might be thinking, ‘We’ve got bigger challenges to navigate that those two… Can Ellie still help us?!’
I wanted to share this end of the spectrum because it's an inspiring tale of good to incredible, but more importantly, because it's one that I know they're more than happy to share themselves too…
But not everyone is as onboard with personal growth and acts before there’s a problem - I find that's only an enlightened few! Most need to wait until the niggles loom large enough. And I’m here for that too! I work with couples who use me as a complement to therapy, or who through working with me, come to joint awareness that they need time to focus on more challenging issues… and go on to therapy.
But that’s part of my unique selling point.
That I’m the approachable, fun and empowering way to take the first step, by focusing on the good while simultaneously getting stuck into the tricky bits.
And for most, that’s spot on.
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